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Sixers Trade Samuel Dalembert To Los Angeles For Candace Parker And A ...

The Philadelphia 76ers today traded disgruntled center Samuel Dalembert to the Los Angeles Sparks for star power forward Candace Parker and a throwback jersey from Hall of Fame center Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. Dalembert is expected to back up Sparks center Lisa Leslie. According to sources, talks have been ongoing for some time, but were held up due to the Sixers insistence on a signed Magic Johnson jersey. Once that was reduced to a game worn Abdul-Jabbar jersey, things moved quickly. “We are proud to introduce our new forward, Candace Parker,” said Sixers general manager Ed Stefanski of the 6′4″ dunking machine. “We expect her to be a significant improvement over Dalembert. She is stronger, has a better outside shot, and is far less likely to cost us games by committing four fouls in the first quarter of every game. “Plus, this Kareem jersey is gonna look sweet on the wall of my office.” Dalembert seemed thrilled to be traded to a contender. “It is an honor to be traded to a team with such a rich tradition,” said the soul-rending center. "I hear the seats on the bench there are well padded. I look forward to taking my team killing skills to Los Angeles.” When asked what Dalembert's role would be, Sparks head coach Michael Cooper was very clear. “His role will be to make sure that Lisa has plenty to drink, and that she has a fresh towel with which to dry off when she sits down.” When asked specifically about his playing role, Cooper just laughed and left the podium. Contacted by phone, Sixers guard Andre Iguodala seemed to sum up the feelings of the whole team, if not the city. “Wow, I thought we would never unload that mook,” said Iguodala. “To call him useless is an insult to useless people. Who did we get for him? You know what, it doesn't matter. We are a better team today.” When told that WNBA star Candace Parker was now a Sixer, Iguodala replied, “Great. She will double his scoring average just by not fouling out.” Parker seemed to take the whole situation in stride. “I'm just going to try to fit in and do what I do. I plan to be a team player. [Sixers head coach] Eddie [Jordan] told me that I was a much better fit for the Princeton offense, due to the fact that I have an IQ over 75, unlike Dalembert." “He said that, not me. I mean, it's true, but I'm just saying.” When asked about how she would handle the difference in the game play, Parker expressed confidence. “Look, I am not worried,” said Parker. "I know what I can do. Obviously, the Sixers do too, or I wouldn't be here. I can handle the ball, I can shoot, I can dunk, all the things that were missing from that position for the seven minutes a game that he played last year. “If some high school kid can dunk on (Cleveland Cavaliers guard) LeBron (James), I can too.” At press time, it could not be confirmed that the New York Mets were trying to trade Oliver Perez to the USA Olympic team for softball ace Jennie Finch and a Mia Hamm throwback.

Bleacher Report .com
3196 days ago
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Do Philadelphia 76ers Fans Really Need to Panic?

Ok so, the 76ers do not have a coach as of yet, or have a starting point listed or for the 2009-2010 season, or have a way to rid themselves ...

Bleacher Report .com | 3256 days ago | 613 Ballers sent

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NBA 09 Playoffs: Mavericks Chances, Magics Hopes, Lakers Fate

What an intense and exciting NBA 2009 Playoffs it has been thus far. Ranging from the elbow from Dwight Howard to the head of Samuel Dalembert|Samuel ...

Bleacher Report .com | 3267 days ago | 804 Ballers sent

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''Sam I Am Not:'' The Dalembert Project Needs to be Terminated

Sometimes in life, you have to take a situation and chalk it up as a loss. That time has come for the Philadelphia 76ers and their attempt ...

Bleacher Report .com | 3278 days ago | 787 Ballers sent

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Celtic Prideless: Rondo Should Miss Game Seven

Everyone saw the forearm shiver that the Orlando Magic's Dwight Howard laid on the Philadelphia 76ers' Samuel Dalembert|Samuel ...

Bleacher Report .com | 3279 days ago | 848 Ballers sent

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Magic's Howard suspended for Game 6 against 76ers

Dwight Howard's elbow has given the Orlando Magic's playoff hopes a major hit. Howard has been suspended for Game 6 of the Magic's playoff ...

Boston .com | 3280 days ago | 492 Ballers sent

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